As week 2 of lockdown has rolled around, and New Zealanders have slowly began to come to terms with this new kind of lifestyle, we thought we would share our observations, interpretations, and insights. Because we too are learning how to cope with it all. 

I watched a video on Monday morning of a woman in Italy talking about her experience living in lockdown in what was, at the beginning of the week, the epicentre of Covid-19. She said “At first you will think you’re going insane, and you won’t see the end of the tunnel. You’re not alone. You’ll start seeing beauty and ugliness together. You’ll live moments of unity you never imagined.” 

We are hearing time and time again that we will come out the other side, a message of hope and determination. But given that we are currently living in the in-between, we were curious about what is going on right now. In a time of heightened sensitivity and emotions, individuals, businesses, and societies as a whole can learn a great deal about human behaviour, and how to nurture ourselves, our families, and our communities.

So what did we observe this week?

This week’s Monday morning Zoom meeting at Eleven was slightly less lively than usual, and not surprisingly, there was not as much to report from our weekends. As our busy lives have been majorly disrupted and changed, the general consensus seems to be that week 2 has been a somewhat uncomfortable and slow progression towards accepting that this is not going to be a sprint, but a marathon. 

In psychological terms, some of us are slowly transitioning out of this state of panic, intense anxiety, emotional distress and compulsive behaviours, and entering a state of grief.

There are 6 stages to grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance, and meaning. These stages are not linear, and won’t happen in the same order for everyone. They will also depend on the perceptions of risk and stressors people experience or anticipate. 

Right now, many of us are grieving the loss of normalcy. Mourning the loss of our once taken for granted lives, our normal weekend activities. Some of us felt that Monday morning rolled around quickly without much happening or being accomplished, others unable to shake the feeling that this could go on forever. And for others a case of internal bargain – ‘If I do this for 4 weeks, things will go back to normal won’t they?’. 

We are living in an emotionally-taxing time. After the events that unfolded last week, and the high intensity of emotions elicited as our everyday lives were turned upside down, it is probably the case that a lot of us are feeling tired and flat. We are in a maintenance phase where we are trying to maintain emotional balance and self-control, while dealing with a daily influx of information. 

After a week of fluctuating between the good, the bad, and the ugly, some people will be slowly beginning to find balance in what they are thinking. It’s not going to go on forever, but it’s not going to go away overnight, it’s going to be challenging, and we’re going to have to change a lot of things whether we like it or not – acceptance. 

As human beings, we look to those who we trust and who we have relationships with to help us deal with these emotions. And in times of uncertainty, we seek out those who can empathise and relate to the way we are feeling – it reinforces to us that we are grieving collectively. 

So we want to share some suggestions on how we can help those around us – family, friends, colleagues, customers, community members – to see the beauty and ugliness together, and to together build more resilient communities:

1. Acknowledge fears – While on the surface it will look like anger or sadness, it is likely that this is stemming from an experienced or anticipated threat or stressor. Bring these fears to the surface, name them, talk openly about them, and help people to accurately understand them. Let them know that they are not alone.

2. Express your needs and wishes – Whether that be to an employer, a neighbour, or your customer community, reach out and connect with the people around you about how you can help each other right now.

3. Give people things to do, and get creative with it – not only do people need variety, but they gain a sense of satisfaction and achievement from getting things done, even if they are only small. Get your employees working on a project they’ve always wanted to, self-isolation is leading some people to be more creative than normal. Think of ways that you can adapt your products, services, or relationships with customers so that they are suitable for new needs. A lot of this can be done online!

4. Create structure and consistency, but be comfortable with adapting it – plan each day, predict what your week will look like – activities, priorities. Keep up your daily habits. If you learned something useful about improving your isolation system, or something needs to shift or change, be ok with adapting your plans. At Eleven, we have kept all of our usual habits in place via zoom – daily stand up, learning sessions, Friday gin.  

5. Acknowledge shared misery – Be a person or a business that people connect with because they feel understood, and in a tone they can resonate with. People can find a sense of comfort in a collective grieving process - Let people know they are not alone in the ugliness.

6. Give anticipatory guidance – be open and honest with those around you about problems and mishaps, demonstrate and express values, and talk about the future in a positive way – what your business might look like after all of this, what your employees have to look forward to, new opportunities.